Dear Impatient Shitface
Dear Impatient Shitface,
Do you remember me? We were on the Burrard Street Bridge when you decided to be a fat douche bag. There was a big orange pylon in the middle of my lane and considering the fact that I don't have hummer and therefore can't drive over large objects, I had to stop and change lanes. I gave you notice, I put my flicker on, there was no suddenness or abruptness in my decision to stop. Regardless, you decided to come up behind me, become aggravated, and then lay on your horn. I'm sorry that you're such a fucking prick, that you made no efforts to be understanding or brainstorm about possible reasons for a random stop. Did you think I was doing it for my own amusement? Did you think I wanted to get honked at? Are you an over paid old cranky senile obese grey haired man with an obnoxious license plate that said something like "PURRR". Yes, yes you are. I liked that after you had been honking at me for a while you changed lanes, went beside me, and then honked some more while giving me the evil eye. You did it in such a manor that you neglected to see the pylon, and probably still think that I was the idiot. That's the only sad part about it all; you'll never understand that infact it was you in your ugly car that was the embarrassment. Try to be a little more observant, look around, and please, for the love of whatever you believe in, turn down the assholeness. Were you in a hurry to get to Bingo night? Were you late for the old folks home curfew? Did your daily prune juice just kick in? Was it Im-A-Big-Stupid-Asshole-Detriment-To-Society-Day and I just didn't remember?
I hope you had a really awesome night full of herpes ridden hookers.